Stop Apologising - ONE THING by BrewLaLa

Hi lovely,

Have you ever noticed how often we women say sorry?

Sorry for asking a question.

Sorry for needing help.

Sorry for saying no.

Sometimes I think we apologise simply for taking up space! I've certainly caught myself doing it.

And while being considerate is a wonderful quality, there's a big difference between being polite and apologising when you've done absolutely nothing wrong.

So this week's ONE THING...

STOP APOLOGISING!

Think about how often you hear yourself saying:

"Sorry to bother you."

"Sorry, can I ask a question?"

"Sorry, I can't make it."

"Sorry, I need some time to myself."

"Sorry, I don't agree."

Sound familiar?

Somewhere along the way, many of us have developed a habit of apologising for perfectly reasonable things.

For having needs. Taking time. Expressing opinions. Setting boundaries. Asking for support.

And while a genuine apology is important when we've hurt someone or made a mistake, constantly apologising when we haven't done anything wrong can subtly reinforce the idea that our needs are an inconvenience.

As women, particularly when we're navigating change and learning to become more confident in ourselves, it's worth noticing how often we make ourselves smaller through our language.

You don't need to apologise for looking after your health, making your own decisions or having a different opinion.

You can be warm, thoughtful and respectful without saying sorry for simply being you.

This week’s practice — NOTICE · PAUSE · REPLACE

Step 1 — NOTICE

For the next seven days, pay attention to how often you say "sorry."

Not when you've genuinely made a mistake, but when you're asking a question, expressing a preference, requesting help or simply going about your day.

Notice the situations and people that trigger an automatic apology.

You might be surprised how often it happens!

Don't judge yourself. Just become aware.

Step 2 — PAUSE

Before apologising, ask yourself:

"Have I actually done something wrong?"

"Am I apologising because it's appropriate, or because I feel uncomfortable?

"Would I expect someone else to apologise for this?"

Sometimes the answer will be yes, and a genuine apology is exactly what's needed.

But sometimes, you'll realise there's nothing to apologise for.

Step 3 — REPLACE

Practise expressing yourself without the unnecessary apology.

Instead of "Sorry to bother you," try "Do you have a moment?"

Instead of "Sorry I'm late replying," try "Thanks for your patience."

Instead of "Sorry, I can't make it," try "Thank you for inviting me, but I won't be able to come."

And instead of "Sorry, I disagree," try "I see it differently."

Small changes. Same kindness. More confidence.

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A small reflective coaching question

Where am I apologising for having perfectly reasonable needs, opinions or boundaries—and how might I express myself differently if I truly believed my voice mattered?

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Your weekly mantra: